the LA KINGS have never won a stanley cup
March 28, 2009, 4:43 pm
Filed under: Stuff | Tags: , , , ,

in grade 6, the moment of truth had arrived.

i don’t remember his last name, but it was probably something stupid, cause he was a total jerk. troy was telling everyone that the LA Kings had won the stanley cup before. he was spreading this news around whitmore elementary quicker than girls have heart attacks at ricky martin concerts (10 years ago, he’s not so dreamy today), but it was all a bunch of lies (kind of like the fact that ricky martin has talent). 

i was the sole possessor of truth. nobody would confront troy and his empire of lies (mostly because we were all elementary kids and half of us didn’t know who the LA Kings were). the reason i knew was because my dad had told me. i didn’t care about hockey. the internet was hardly off the ground so i couldn’t google it. i trusted my dad’s word. so we had a showdown. after school, i had decided to confront him. my heart was racing. the sweat was dripping. my nipples were chaffing. it all came down to this. the moment of truth, where i would emerge the victor. 

“hey troy, the LA Kings have never won the stanley cup, my dad said so!” i said defiantly.

he responded with a punch to my mouth. he followed it up with a kick to my chest. i believe that is called ‘check and mate.’ it didn’t hurt as much physically as it did emotionally. many standing around pointed and laughed. no one came to my rescue. no one defended the rightness of my claim. it was just me, being laughed at. i didn’t know how to fight, so i responded with a whimper and ran home (that’ll learn him!). even though my dad was right (he was, i just googled it. thank heavens for the internets!),  nobody cared.

my plan to spread the good news of the lack of success by the LA Kings had failed. but i will not give up. i am still fighting for my rights today. my right to proclaim the truth. i think it’s called the first amendment or something…

the LA Kings have never won a stanley cup.

i thought about getting spiritual and applying this story to the idea of trusting your heavenly father even in the face of persecution, but…that would be dumb. you should do that, trust God in the midst of persecution. but this story is stupid, so i won’t bother with that lesson today.