stories of a failed holy man


on anger

I didn’t intend for this to be an angry blog. Inspiring…hopefully. Challenging…yes. Humorous…at least to me. Filled with fart jokes and Sarah Palin references…you betcha. Angry…not my intent.

In real life, I am a passionate person whose passion often boils over and burns the person next to me through anger and unkind words and passive/aggressive behaviour.

But in my writing, I have historically tried to wear the ‘diplomat‘ label, trying to make everyone happy. No matter how unreasonable I find your thought process, I will generally try to hear you out and respond with respect. But behind closed doors, I dream of slashing your tires and cutting your full grown Chia Pet down to size.

I’m just finding it more and more difficult to not be angry. I left this blog for a year. Not because I had nothing to say. But because saying it in a kind, respectful way is so exhausting. I feel like I’ve lost the energy to be nice. You call it lazy. I call it living up to the jerkwad I truly am.

I trust it’s a phase, that I’ll move past this anger. It’s tough with stories like this floating around that make you want to go Nic Cage on Christendom. By that, I mean crazy.

There’s so much to be angry about, it’s hard to know where to start. The Jesus follower in me is screaming to turn the other cheek. But the devil inside of me is telling the sermon on the mount to get bent.

The angry voice is louder when I’m weary, so for now I’ll sleep, hopefully dreaming of Nicolas Cage drop kicking The Gospel Coalition in the teeth. Metaphorically and with the love of Jesus, of course. Maybe that will bring peace in the morning.

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1 Comment so far
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Blair, you just visited Ed’s “In a Mirror Dimly” blog and left a signature on “World Vision, Consumerism, and Replacing Children Like Cell Phones”. I just read your article on anger and thought it apropos leave my response to Ed with you as follows:

“Deuteronomy 5:11-21, Luke 10:25-37

What exactly is Christ like or in the image of a loving God that is portrayed in this article (or the Hobby Lobby debacle) as in the name of Jesus? Where exactly did the money come from in the first place and where exactly does it go when I die only because I’m justifiably overlooked by the passing Good GAY Samaritan or the Samaritan Prostitute too pregnant to help?

There is nothing in the law above, nothing, which makes LGBTism a sin, nothing. There is much in the law above that makes coveting the life of a merciful neighbor a sin, no matter the carnal persuasion of that neighbor. There is no marriage in Heaven! How do we exchange spiritual sexual relationships? We can never get beyond carnal life when we take it upon ourselves to judge and execute sexual natures and keep women in their place, bare foot and pregnant? A loving God must deny our inheritance out of love for His children who follow the law.

I, too, am bothered “so much” and that puts it lightly. I try to stay tuned to the Holy Spirit to lead me to share my overly gifted talents only because from that Spirit is the source for omnipresence, omnipotence, and omnilove I do not have and do not covet. I want to be like Dad and Mom but I don’t want to be my Dad and Mom. I want to have things like Mom and Dad’s but I don’t want to take the things that are Mom and Dad’s, especially their authority. That’s a sin because it is coveting. Why can’t we trust our Father in Heaven to provide, why?

How can I lovingly share with World Vision and Hobby Lobby consumers alike that God is eternally real and available but they each are only temporarily influential mists here today and gone tomorrow? I hurt for all in our body of mankind and feel so very impotent to heal our wounds. The Samaritan came by and provided a Way to healing for us all and too many of us went back to the examples of the priest and the Levite.”

Blair, you can be angry with me anytime!

Comment by Herm




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