eh oh, canada go…to the store and buy coke products
January 6, 2010, 10:32 pm
Filed under: Stuff | Tags: , , ,

the pure devastation of this year of sporting events in my life has left me in ruins. i’m not sure if i can make it another day for fear of not being able to feel the sweet satisfaction course through my veins when i pretend i have as much to do with the victory as the person which was actually victorious. i’m pretty sure i just failed grade 12 english with that last sentence. living vicariously through those much greater than me. that’s what sports is all about.

when eberle scored twice to send the game to overtime, a tear went down my cheek. this is not exaggerating for the sake of dramatic effect. i was quite literally emotional. and when my hopes were dashed minutes later by the ruthless americans (congrats by the way, America, for destroying my life), i sat in shock not sure whether to laugh, cry or move into a monastery and devote my life to silence. most of you probably would have preferred i do the latter. and to have to endure this merely 2 months after the notorious 13th man incident that we in saskatchewan dare not speak of…not to mention the sad state my Montreal Canadiens have been in the past couple years. it’s been a tough year. my manhood and bragging rights have all but left me. all that has to happen now is the canadian olympic hockey team losing to kazakhstan in the Gold medal game next month by being disqualified in the final seconds when they realize canadian hockey players are actually robots programmed by the government. you’d think they would have figured it out sooner by the way they give interviews. and i quote, “we gave it 100% but just fell a bit short and it’s a team game and we’ll just keep working hard and follow our game plan.” robotic cliches are second nature in the sport of hockey. at least the NBA has people pulling guns on each other. even golf has john daly shirtless. sports…why do i bother?

i remember playing hockey as a kid. our team was in the 3rd place game, and it was being televised nationally (in dauphin, mb on the local channel) for the world (dauphin) to see. i remember being so proud. me and benji husband would get the call to play in the big leagues, i was sure of it. it never occurred to me back then that 3rd place was for losers, and i shouldn’t be proud. i’m from canada, dagnabit, and if it isn’t first place in hockey, it’s nothing. i’m exaggerating of course. but i come by this sick passion for sports honestly. my family is ridiculously in love with sports. i would literally marry sidney crosby’s old hockey skates if i could. and my family would welcome those hockey skates as one of their own.

what drives this insane obsession? some would say testosterone. others would say passion. still others would say God was a sports fan and created us this way. i’m not sure who they are, but i’m sure they are out there. after all, on the 7th day he rested because it was the stanley cup final and he cheers for detroit. i think it says that somewhere in revelazekiah…job. i know, that sounds crazy. i did make that last part up. as if God would cheer for detroit.

since Jesus did not come for healthy, but the sick…he must cheer for the same teams i do. because i am sick.

true story. i typed “coke”, “hockey” and “God” into google images and this came up.


3 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Nice rip Blair. Your my Eberle blogger. Clutch words when you need them most. I still hurt from that game.

Comment by The John

your pathetic
stop posting up worthless commentaries, nobody cares about a stupid fatass like you
have fun trying to suck yourself off tonight DOUCHE

Comment by Blair

this completely just made my day. thank you for the laugh.

Comment by xbtotherockx

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