stories of a failed holy man


my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard
June 24, 2009, 4:08 am
Filed under: Stuff | Tags: , ,

does anyone know what that means? i have yet to figure it out.CRW_0829(i was going to put a nice romantic picture of the two of us in here, but it’s more fun to put her angry face one. i swear it was the mosquitos ticking her off, not me)

i made my first move on my wife at an ice cream place over a milkshake. we hadn’t really talked at that point, but she had my eye. i was going to say she had me at hello, but then tom cruise would sue me, and renee zellweger would be legitimized as an actress. we can’t let that happen, so i won’t say it. but she had a hold of me. there was something there before we had spoken a word. she had driven up to go to her friends college graduation ceremony, who also happened to be my friend. and so as luck would have it, i got the chance to meet her. i was a sorry looking mess the first time she saw me. my hair was long, my jeans were torn from top to bottom, and i was wearing some hippy 3/4 length band t-shirt. those are so 1990’s. and so as i couldn’t take my eyes off her, i was sure that she had quickly passed hers over me. luckily, our mutual friends gave me a second chance. we went driving that night. i remember it vividly. 5 of us crammed in a car. in a little town with nothing to do, we followed the flames we saw on the outskirts of town. farmers were burning the stubble in their fields, and so we got out and walked through the flames. i kept stealing glances at that beautiful woman named melissa. there was something about her that wouldn’t let me go. she was quiet, gentle and shy. but her eyes were on fire, and that soft smile took me to another place. the firey bundles of whatever it is that farmers burn in their fields allowed me to sneak longer glances at her as she was blinded by the light, and so i found myself captured and staring. i’m sure she caught me on more than one occasion. we then went for ice cream where i performed the famous, “let me get that for you” trick. she had no spoon for her ice cream, and in a dramatic and chivalrous act, i offered my services. smooth as butter…or something. after church the next day, we were standing together as she waited for her ride, and i noticed she was cold. perfect time to shine. my dirty old bright red petro canada wind jacket was all i had with me, but i offered it to her, sure that this was the moment i would know whether the feeling was mutual. she graciously accepted, but i wasn’t sure if it was out of kindness/pity or if she liked me. she drove off and i felt alive. 

depending on whether you ask her or me, the next part of the story is a little different. i emailed her soon after she left, which i know was soooo desperate of me. but i didn’t care. i made some cheesy joke about watching the discovery channel. she wrote back with an LOL, and i knew we were close to being BFF‘s. but i was sickly insecure. i had never asked a girl out before without knowing 100% that she would say yes. it was always one of their friends saying, “hey idiot. ask her out, she likes you.”  but no one was pushing me forward with melissa, and so i made the life changing decision. i picked up the phone…and called our mutual friend. i didn’t say i was smooth. but i asked her what she thought, and she said to go for it. so i got her number and i called. here is where we differ. i felt brave for calling her. she gives me grief because i waited two weeks. but i think i’m awesome, and this is my story, so i’m going to go with bravery. and we talked for hours. every night. and i hate the phone. i remember with my previous girlfriends that i hated the phone. i despised the phone. and so they would call and i would just sit there waiting for the moment i could get off and go to sleep. but this was different. i couldn’t wait to talk to her. i couldn’t get enough. i still hadn’t asked her out yet, as we were just getting to know each other. but i felt inspired. i felt like someone understood me. and as crazy as it sounds, i knew i was falling in love. before we were even dating. 

and so she came up a month after our original meeting for the high school graduation, and the electricity was there. i knew she returned the feeling because there was no reason for her to be at high school graduation. she didn’t know anyone graduating. but she came. for me. we held hands that night for the first time as we sat around the campfire. people slowly trickled away until it was just me and her. we sat for hours talking. we sat for hours in silence. and it felt right. this girl who i had only met once before had a power over me that i had never known. it was only our fourth day together, and as crazy as it sounds, i thought this could be the so called “one” people always speak of.

it was getting cold, so i decided to start the fire again, as it had burned out while we were talking. and i almost lit her hair on fire. like i said, there is no smoothness in this guy. there is something about that first kiss with someone you really care about. and i say that because lots of people have kissed people they don’t care about, and kisses can be really mediocre if you kiss someone you don’t care deeply for. but when it’s someone who has your heart, the kiss could go on for hours in the blink of an eye. and it was there we had our first kiss.

we drove around until the sun came up. we decided to drop her off in case someone thought something untoward was going on. we were at a christian school, after all. no PDA, as i was always told (public display of affection). the only thing worse than public displays of affection was being caught staying out all night. rumors run rampant on christian campuses. i had already destroyed my reputation, but i wanted to hold hers in check. i went home, showered and couldn’t sleep. i was waiting for 2 hours to go back and wait for her to wake up. we spent the day with friends laughing, but no one was on my mind except for her. the time came for her to leave. we said our goodbyes, and i thought i was in a dream world. apparently i was, as i had forgotten to ask her out…not even joking. in the midst of our amazing weekend, our amazing kiss, and spending every waking moment with her, i forgot to make the contract official. so i called her that night, and she must have thought i was a player until i called. i am so not a player. i don’t even know how to use my milkshake. but she laughed at me, as she now does quite often, and graciously accepted me into her life. 

we were brought together in a flash, and now have a lifetime to grow. if there is one word i could think of to describe my wife, it would be a combination of the words “gracious” and “sexy”. so if you put those two together you get…”graciexy”. let’s just make it “gretzky” for easy to remember purposes. so next time you see wayne gretzky, you can think of my hot and gracious wife. she has put up with a lot from me. i have put her through hell many times over, and she has always held on to me. i’ve never understood the love of God until i experienced the way she loves me. i constantly disappoint her, hurt her, and live selfishly. yet she loves me. deeply. intensely. with her whole heart. and i’d be lost without her. i’m not sure what it is she sees in me. maybe it’s my muscular abs. probably not, though. we got our first dog together. bought our first house together. have two beautiful children together. we’ve lived life together. and i wouldn’t have it any other way.

plus, i’m practically married to wayne gretzky.

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6 Comments so far
Leave a comment

I don’t know about Gretzky, but I agree, she is amazing and I am glad, that way back when, you were mezmorized, because she is gracious, sweet, beautiful, loving, kind and precious, a wonderful daughter in love! Thanks Blair for choosing wisely, but I know God did the choosing, so there! Mom!

Comment by Mom

you kissed before you were married? what?

Comment by jerms

I know, we totally should have got pink tickets for that.

Comment by blair

This was beautiful Blair! I bet you are missing your girls already!

Comment by Sheena

That was such a sweet story! Loved it!!!

You two are a wonderful couple. Miss you both!

Comment by Laurie

great!
lovely love story blair.

Comment by jessie




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